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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25012516">Saint Bernard</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danesincry/pseuds/Danesincry'>Danesincry</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angels, Cults, Culture Shock, Gay Male Character, God Complex, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Reader is a experiment, Reader was raised by a catholic cult and engineered to be a real life angel, References to Norse Religion &amp; Lore, Religion, Saint Bernard by Lincoln, Song Lyrics, borderline God Complex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:53:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,704</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25012516</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danesincry/pseuds/Danesincry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Y/n stared up to the sky as the rain came pouring down upon Hell’s kitchen. The grey skies reminded him of his childhood, the walls that kept him prisoner. The walls that were covered in pictures of people he did not believe should have been there.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Matt Murdock &amp; Reader, Matt Murdock/Reader, Matt Murdock/You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Saint Bernard</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>It doesn't actually say what's up with reader until the end really, but reader isn't a normal human.</p><p>Also, Reader was raised in a cult small town so he doesn't truly understand a lot of social stuff. You'll understand once you read. He didn't understand that he was being manipulated and abused until he got to college.</p><p>(PS both of his parents were killed so he doesn't have actual parents. Keep that in mind.)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b> Hung pictures of patron saints up on my wall </b>
</p><p>Y/n stared up to the sky as the rain came pouring down upon Hell’s kitchen. The grey skies reminded him of his childhood, the walls that kept him prisoner. The walls that were covered in pictures of people he did not believe should have been there.</p><p>It wasn’t until he finally got to college, meeting Matthew Murdock, that he had believed in the world. Matthew Murdock became his patron saint. His key to freedom.</p><p>He had changed his major from religious studies to law, even if it pissed off the Church. Pissed off the Mass.</p><p>Matthew showed him a side of the world that he hadn’t known. It was wonderful.</p><p>
  <b> To remind me that I am a fool. </b>
</p><p>The Church didn’t approve of Matthew. He may have been Catholic, but he was a sinner. </p><p>There was a rumor about Matthew within the Church; a hushed one that he was never to speak of around Matthew. Lucifer had taken control of a mortal man and seduced one of the Sisters, forcing her to bear one of his children. </p><p>They told him that Matthew was the Devil, just like his father. To cast him aside and to come home.</p><p>But he never saw that in Matthew. He was a saint. He had his moments, but Matthew was wonderful. So he stayed by Matthew’s side.</p><p>That was until Elektra had shown up.</p><p>
  <b> Tell me where I came from, what I will always be </b>
</p><p>Once Elektra showed up, Matthew seemed to stray.</p><p>Y/n watched as Elektra came in and enticed him. They both shared common paths; being helped by a man who Y/n had never learned the name of. It made the two come together to create something that Y/n would finally call the Evil One.</p><p>The long nights that Y/n stayed up, waiting for Matthew with Foggy in the dorms.</p><p>“He always attracts the wrong type.” Foggy had commented. Y/n could barely agree, knowing what he knew.</p><p>Elektra was as beautiful as a coral snake. Gorgeous and enticing. One of the most dangerous and venomous.</p><p>Elektra looked at Y/n like he was just a child. She loved him like a young brother, but never recognized his strife.</p><p>Y/n never showed reciprocation. He couldn’t.</p><p>
  <b> Just a spoiled little kid who went to catholic school. </b>
</p><p>When Elektra dropped out of their lives, Matthew lashed out.</p><p>He drew away from Y/n and even casted out Foggy for a while. It hurt everyone around him.</p><p>Y/n had never understood normal lives, but he tried.</p><p>Y/n stood in the mirror many nights, staring at himself. Two doors over was Matthew and Foggy. They couldn’t understand what was in the mirror. No one truly could.</p><p>The shining in those eyes that had never experienced anything other than the Church. He knew that those eyes held a dangerous power. He had tried to tell Matthew one time, but it just wouldn’t come out.</p><p>When Elektra left, she told Y/n that he wouldn’t ever be anything more than a Catholic child, spoiled by the blessing of a loving life.</p><p>Oh how she was wrong.</p><p>
  <b> When I am dead I won't join their ranks, </b>
</p><p>Y/n stood on top of the school dormitory, staring down at the people as the rain pelted down upon them. His face was blank as he observed them, going on with their lives without noticing him.</p><p>His eyes were glowing softly, his hand clenched like there should be something in it. His breathing was slow and shallow, picking up slightly as he stepped forward. One small step and he could fall to the ground, ending everything then and there.</p><p>The Church couldn’t control him here, as much as they tried. They couldn’t control life and death as much as they wished. The Mass couldn’t scream to him, ridicule him and thunder out of control. They couldn’t make his ears echo like a bell was hit when placed over his head.</p><p>
  <b> 'Cause they are both holy and free. </b>
</p><p>He had heard the door open behind him, someone joining him on the roof. His eyes dulled and he let his hand relax.</p><p>Turning, he saw Matthew standing there. He was wearing sweatpants and a hoodie, arms wrapped around himself. He didn’t have his cane.</p><p>“Matthew.” Y/n’s voice was barely a whisper.</p><p>He never understood how Matthew could do it all. He had freedom and no external ties.</p><p>Y/n was tied to the Church forever. He may have been seen as Holy, but he would never be. Not with what they did to him.</p><p>“Come down.” Matthew spoke softly, holding a hand out to Y/n. “Let’s talk.”</p><p>Y/n reached a hand out, taking Matthew’s.</p><p>Matthew would always be a Saint.</p><p>
  <b> And I'm in Ohio, satanic and chained up </b>
</p><p>“You cannot see the Devil!” The Father screamed at Y/n, who stood there, not looking him in the eye.</p><p>“Yes, Father.” Y/n spoke in hushed tones, afraid to be striked.</p><p>“You are an angel. You cannot have him spoil your beauty and holiness. How will God take you then?” The Father grabbed onto Y/n’s face, gripping his jaw. “Look at me, Child!”</p><p>“Yes, Father.” Y/n tried his best to not tear up.</p><p>Shackles weighed heavily on his wrists, unseen by the world. They were grey and cold. Y/n could feel them even if they weren’t truly there.</p><p>Y/n remembers Matthew appearing with Foggy down the stairs at that moment. The Father looked up and let out an undignified noise at the sight of Matthew. He let go of Y/n’s jaw, almost throwing him to the side.</p><p>“I will be back Sunday, Child.” The Father looked back to Y/n.</p><p>“Yes, Father. Of course.” Y/n nodded, glancing up to The Father before looking to the ground.</p><p>Once he was gone, tears raised to his eyes. He will never be freed from the monsters that made him.</p><p>
  <b> And until the end, that's how it'll be. </b>
</p><p>Y/n looked at his hands as Foggy and Matthew joined his side.</p><p>“Is he your real dad?” Foggy asked.</p><p>“Does it matter?” Y/n replied, not answering the question.</p><p>“Of course it does, Y/n.” Matthew spoke up.</p><p>Y/n looked up to Matthew, who was looking in his direction, a frown upon his face.</p><p>“In the end, I will never be free of them. Let’s go get food. I’m hungry.” Y/n took a deep breath, ignoring the look that Foggy shot to an unseeing Matthew.</p><p>
  <b> I said make me love myself so that I might love you. </b>
</p><p>“I love you, Y/n.” Matthew had whispered quietly to Y/n one night.</p><p>The two were laying together in Matthew’s bed. Y/n had his eyes closed, but they opened when Matthew spoke.</p><p>“I love you too, Matthew.” Y/n whispered back. “But you shouldn’t love me. I don’t deserve your love.”</p><p>Y/n that night had disappeared from the bed while Matthew slept.</p><p>“Goodbye, Matthew. May we meet and love again in another lifetime.” Y/n had whispered to Matthew.</p><p>When Matthew woke up, he panicked.</p><p>He rushed to Y/n’s room, pulling out the spare key that they had spoofed. He opened the door to find the room bare.</p><p>
  <b> Don't make me a liar, 'cause I swear to god, </b>
</p><p>Y/n watched Matthew throughout his life.</p><p>He had ran from his life, only keeping contact with Father Paul Lantom.</p><p>It was raining the night that Y/n had shown up to the Cathedral. He walked in, the candles flaring up at his presence. Father Lantom had rushed to meet him halfway down the aisle, where Y/n collapsed. </p><p>When Y/n had woken up, Sister Maggie was standing over him, smiling softly.</p><p>“Child, what happened to you?” She asked Y/n, the worry in her eyes betraying her smile. “Who did this to you?”</p><p>“The Church.” Y/n whispered, his throat hurting. “They made me into this.”</p><p>Y/n was sat up as Sister Maggie patched up his injuries. His arm and wing was bound to his body. They offered to give him a place to say, the basement. Y/n accepted with no hesitance. He thanked them greatly until he was fully healed. He had found out that Sister Maggie was Matthew’s mother on a dark night.</p><p>
  <b> When I said it I thought it was true. </b>
</p><p>Matthew had appeared multiple times to the church before.</p><p>But this time was different.</p><p>The night was dark, the wind was howling as Y/n crouched on the top of the church, watching the people go by. He watched as Matthew rushed into the church, bruised and bloody.</p><p>Y/n hurried to go down the trap door and into the back of the church. He watched from the side door as Matthew walked up to Father Lantom. He looked like he was on an inch of his life, barely holding on.</p><p>It had been months since Y/n had seen Matthew and Matthew had shown up to the cathedral. </p><p>Father Lantom had caught Matthew as he passed out again. Y/n slowly moved out into the aisle to help Father Lantom carry Matthew up to the infirmary.</p><p>Matthew had fallen into a small coma, Sister Maggie had told Y/n. So Y/n sat with Matthew. He helped tend to Matthew, hoping he wouldn’t wake up with him there. He let the glow in his eyes appear for the first time in years, just for Matthew. He placed a now warm hand onto Matthew’s. He closed his eyes, a halo appearing over his head. It was barely glowing, but it was there. </p><p>Once his eyes opened, Matthew started to gasp and his body arched up. </p><p>Y/n backed up, turning his head slightly to cry out for Sister Maggie.</p><p>The Sisters, who doubled as his nurses, rushed in to calm down Matthew. Sister Maggie ushered Y/n out and told him to hide.</p><p>Matthew had woken up.</p><p>
  <b> Saint Calvin told me not to worry about you, </b>
</p><p>Matthew had spent months in the basement, getting stronger again.</p><p>Once he was better, he started to leave the cathedral for small amounts of time. </p><p>Y/n would sit in the back pew, waiting for Matthew to come back.</p><p>“You shouldn’t worry about Matthew.” Father Lantom had told him one day, sitting next to Y/n.</p><p>“Father… I feel like I must. Matthew runs around claiming to be a Devil when in fact he is a true Saint.” Y/n looked up to Father Lantom, who sighed.</p><p>“Y/n, Matthew has been lost his whole life. From the second that Sister Maggie left, his life was turned upside down.” Father Lantom took Y/n’s hand into his own. “You’ve been just as lost since birth. There’s a reason why the Lord had chosen you two.”</p><p>“He visited the outside of my room last night.” Y/n looked back to the front of the church. “I think he knows that something resides in it.”</p><p>“I will make sure he doesn’t try to go in.” Father Lantom pats Y/n’s hand.</p><p>
  <b> But he's got his own things to deal with. </b>
</p><p>Y/n had watched Father Lantom as he dealt with some of the shocks of chaos in the city. They had an influx of people coming into the cathedral to cope, so Y/n had come out of his hiding to help them. Matthew is now visible to Foggy and Karen now, accepting his presence once more with struggle. Y/n had spotted them while getting supplies for the church. He was snapped out of his stupor when they called out his cover name at the restaurant.</p><p>They called him Gabriel, after the angel. Y/n found it amusing because of what he was.</p><p>Y/n had always kept notice of when Matthew was in the pews, praying or watching the other patrons. Now that Y/n was helping, he had to keep track of where Matthew was inside of the services. He couldn’t get too close to Matthew. He looked different now, but not unrecognisable. </p><p>“Who’s the new helper?” Matthew had asked one of the Sisters during a slower day. Y/n knew he was watching closely that day.</p><p>“Gabriel? He came in for medical help one day and he shows up everyday to help us as thanks.” The Sister had smiled at him. She hadn’t known that Y/n lived there, so it wasn’t lying. “He’s a lovely boy. He’s especially close to Sister Maggie and Father Lantom. He talks to them mainly. He was there to help when you woke up. He said he was playing with the children and they wanted to see you at the time.”</p><p>Y/n knew that Matthew couldn’t hear his heartbeat. He didn’t need one anymore.</p><p>Y/n had glanced at Matthew at the same time that Matthew had turned his head towards Y/n. Y/n turned to Father Lantom and whispered to him.</p><p>“Father, I’m going on a walk. Is that alright?” Y/n asked. He needed to breathe. He didn’t like how conscious Matthew was about him.</p><p>“It’s late, Young One.” Father Lantom frowned.</p><p>“I know. I’ll be back within an hour. I promise.” Y/n tried to give a reassuring smile.</p><p>“Alright. I’ll close the doors late so you can come through the front.” Father Lantom had nodded. “Be careful.”</p><p>“Like always, Father.” Y/n nodded before walking towards the entrance.</p><p>Y/n noticed Matthew get up and walk towards the entrance as he did. Y/n picked up his pace, hoping that once he got outside he could lose Matthew. His footsteps picked up and he got into the cold air, taking a deep breath and looking around. Where to go.</p><p>Y/n walked down the street, passing a few buildings. Matthew was now outside and following him.</p><p>Y/n went down an alley and climbed up a fire escape, getting to the roof and disappearing from Matthew.</p><p>
  <b> There's really just one thing that we have in common </b>
</p><p>Karen had taken refuge in the cathedral. She was being hunted and Hell’s Kitchen was terrified. </p><p>Father Lanton had talked to her and introduced her to the Sisters and Y/n. They looked after her until the service, keeping Karen in the same pew as Y/n for safety.</p><p>Y/n watched as the fake Devil had walked into the cathedral. </p><p>Y/n knew automatically who he was there for. It was obvious to everyone.</p><p>Everyone had gasped when the Devil had walked down the aisle.</p><p>“Karen Page.” The Devil called out. “Where is Karen Page?”</p><p>Y/n had glanced from Karen to Father Lantom, who frowned at Y/n and barely shook his head no. He didn’t want Y/n to interfere. The other members had all stood up now, looking mortified.</p><p>“Karen?” The Devil called out one more time before he striked one of the members.</p><p>They let out a scream and some started to run towards the doors. Y/n watched as they struggled to open the door with no avail. The others cowered in the pews.</p><p>“Wait! I’m here!” Karen cried out and ran into the aisle as he struck down another man.</p><p>“Karen. It’s nice to see you again.” The Devil grinned.</p><p>Y/n got up and darted in front of Karen, stopping a meter in front of her. He tried to create a barrier between them so he couldn’t attack her.</p><p>“Don’t come any closer!” Y/n cried out.</p><p>“Oh that’s funny-” The Devil had laughed before Matthew had kicked him down.</p><p>Y/n grabbed Karen and brought her back up towards Father Lantom and the others, trying to coax her quietly into staying down but to no avail. They watched the two fight for a minute until the Devil seemingly knocked out Matthew.</p><p>An uneasiness and anger settled in the bottom of Y/n’s gut and he glanced around quickly.</p><p>“Y/n, protect the children and others.” Father Lantom had spoken up and Y/n turned to him.</p><p>“Father, we need to get Karen out of here.” Y/n tried. He hadn’t noticed Karen and the Devil staring at one another until Father Lantom pushed Y/n out of the way. He stepped in front of Karen right as the billy club flew at her. It buried itself into his stomach and Y/n suddenly felt numb.</p><p>Father Lantom dropped into Karen’s arms as she screamed out.</p><p>“Y… Y/n…” Father Lantom spoke quietly.</p><p>
  <b> Neither of us will be missed. </b>
</p><p>Matthew sprung up with a scream, attacking the Devil suddenly in response.</p><p>Y/n dropped to his knees next to Father Lantom, looking over him. The injury was bad. He was losing blood too quickly for Y/n to heal him.</p><p>Y/n’s breathing picked up quickly and he felt the energy and anger swirling in his stomach. Karen looked up from Father Lantom to Y/n, gasping as she saw the halo above Y/n’s head and the glowing eyes.</p><p>Y/n stood up and shrugged off the jacket on his back, the one that hid his loose wings. The sudden movement caught both the Devil and Matthew’s attention.</p><p>Y/n held out a hand, a golden bow seemingly materializing in his hands. The other hand reaches behind him and he pulls a golden arrow out of nowhere. He put the arrow onto the golden string, pulling back and aiming.</p><p>
  <b> Saint Bernard sits at the top of the driveway, </b>
</p><p>Y/n let go of the arrow, his halo and arrow brightly as it flew through the air.</p><p>It hit the Devil and made him stumble backwards.</p><p>Matthew jumped back into the fight, keeping the Devil focused on him instead of Y/n.</p><p>Y/n turned back to look at Karen, who had backed up slightly now.</p><p>“Get them to the basement, Karen. I’ll help Matthew.” Y/n spoke quietly enough to not alert the civilians but loud enough for Karen to hear.</p><p>She nods and starts to move them towards the basement.</p><p>Y/n turned back and joined the fight again. He fell into place next to Matthew, who turned his head towards him for a split second.</p><p>“Y/n?” Matthew asked in a breathless voice.</p><p>“Matthew.” Y/n replied. “Get him down and keep him there.”</p><p>Matthew nodded and jumped to try and flip the Devil over. The two looked almost like they were dancing, but Y/n knew better.</p><p>Once Matthew had gotten the Devil down, Y/n took a glowing hand and closed his eyes, placing the hand over the Devil’s face.</p><p>
  <b> You always said how you loved dogs. </b>
</p><p>Y/n focused hard, pouring all of his intent into his hand and the Devil. The Devil went limp and fell still.</p><p>Y/n backed up, his body shocked by the energy flood. He turned towards Father Lantom and stumbled over.</p><p>“Y/n, what are you doing? What did you do?” Matthew asked as Y/n fell to his knees in front of Father Lantom’s body.</p><p>
  <b> I don't know if I count </b>
</p><p>Y/n placed his hand on Father Lantom’s stomach and focused the energy back into Father Lantom.</p><p>“Oh Holy Father, my Lord, please bless him.” Y/n whispered and felt the energy leave his body.</p><p>Father Lantom shocked back to life and Y/n’s eyesight started to turn black.</p><p>
  <b> But I'm trying my best </b>
</p><p>Y/n fell backwards as Matthew ran towards him, calling his name.</p><p>
  <b> When I'm howling and barking these songs. </b>
</p><p>The Lord had let Jesus bring back a bird, Y/n remembered.</p><p>But that was a bird.</p><p>--</p><p>Matthew sat with Y/n’s body, holding Y/n’s hand as Foggy and Karen sat next to him.</p><p>Matthew hadn’t prayed often, but today was one day he did.</p><p>“I can’t believe he was here this whole time.” Foggy was still shocked.</p><p>“Father Lantom said that after he left college, Y/n had shown up months later all busted up and hurt. Y/n never talked about what happened, but Father said that he spoke of Matt in college and why he had to leave.” Karen filled them in. </p><p>Matthew pressed his hand to Y/n’s face, wishing that they met under different circumstances.</p><p>-----</p><p>Y/n L/n.</p><p>29 years old, one year younger than Matthew Murdock.</p><p>Born in a small religious town in Ohio.</p><p>The Church is a catholic cult that has control in many major cities. They have a few churches in New York City and Hell’s Kitchen, not including the Cathedral. Their hometown is where Y/n was born.</p><p>Their goal is to make the next Christ, so they take children and mothers to create what are considered Angels. Until Y/n, none of the children or mothers had survived. The higher ups in the Church treated him like a creature to control, like Angels could be domesticated. The rest of the Church worshipped him as the second Christ. When he went to college, he managed to break away from the Church and get away.</p><p>Y/n was born with wings on his back that turned out to be a beautiful white. He can conceal them in an extra layer of skin on his back. He learned to fly at a young age.</p><p>He was tested on in his young years to give him powers that they believed an angel would have. </p><p>He can create a weapon made of light in his hands and use them as real weapons. With intention, he can create small blessings and heal people to a certain degree. A halo will appear over his head and show how powerful he is at the moment. His senses are enhanced and he is slightly more durable. While his power is strong, he is more resistant towards damage. He can go into a state of rest where his mortal functions shut down (heartbeat, body heat). </p><p>His powers are stronger the more healthy he is (how much energy is stored) and the more focused he is. When his emotions take control, his power flares to a dangerous level.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>LANTOM EXPLANATION:</p><p>He basically took all of the energy he needed to bring Lantom back from Poindexter, which in turn killed Poindexter. Y/n passed out from a large use of his power. It was a miracle and a healing in one. His power comes from how much energy he has at the time, so he needed more.</p><p>WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN COLLEGE AND HIM SHOWING UP AT THE CHURCH:</p><p>The Church came after him, so he spent two months fighting anyone that had come after him. They also live in Hell’s Kitchen, so he ran into some of Fisk’s (or someone else’s) men. He got jumped and defended himself. He chose Hell’s Kitchen to run to because it was where Matt was from and he knew about Father Lantom and Sister Maggie from Matt. He knew they would help him some.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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